This is what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning. Groggy from a noisy, blurry Saturday night.. I can scarcely get a grip on what I'm thinking about, so I'm writing it down.
Is there ANYTHING about you that you'd like to change? You're too skinny/fat/shy/obnoxious.. maybe you've been trying to start something, learn a hobby/skill, become a better friend or a better boyfriend/girlfriend.
The point is, if there's ANYTHING about yourself you've written off as a personality flaw, etc, you can change it. You can be ANYONE you want.
And if you think about it, it's great that we all have flaws. We are all endowed with flaws at birth, character flaws or physical limitations, this is a CHALLENGE, and thank goodness we all have challenges or life would be BORING.
Imagine a movie with no conflict. Yeah. That boring.
So what do most people do?
They look at successful people and copy the EFFECTS OF SUCCESS.
Interesting, they see someone like a famous actor or high paid executive and try to be him by copying the things AROUND him. It's a big lie, like, "If I can dress like him and look like him and drive the same car, and get a hot girlfriend, EVERYONE WILL CONFUSE THE TWO OF US"
The problem is that YOU'LL know the difference. And you'll be empty. And the other guy will still be excited to get up every morning and do what he does, be it acting, his business, or his political agenda or whatever.
But there IS value in imitation. So now I'm a hypocrite. ;)
In my mind, it's pretty great that "successful" people are highly visible. It's like a public good. As soon as a celebrity hits the 'big time' they are in books, magazines, and on TV. You have the internet at your fingertips right now and can search for ANYONE in the world who is 'famous.'
From now on, these people are going to be our models for a successful 'career.' We're going to imitate them like crazy. For other things in your life, you can model as well and INTEGRATE certain behaviour into your life. So if it isnt the stuff AROUND them, what are these people doing that you're not.
Making different decisions. Sorry if that sounds like a non-answer, but that's it. Getting the clothes or the car will NOT work, that's the EASY PART. You have to start making DECISIONS like a successful man/woman/actor/journalist.
What do most people do? They try to come up with a logical reason for every move they make, analysing their problem to death and trying to come with with the 'solution.' They call it 'soul searching.'
This brings me to the next step.
Stop thinking. Stop Soul Searching. Stop waiting for a day when being healthy/charming/diligent will make sense. It will make sense after you've done it. That's why you have to force yourself to do it.
There's probably ONE part of your mind that isn't doing you any good. The cliché would be a doorman at a hotel. The friendliest guy in the world. Very nice and talkative, good looking guy, but just can't figure out how to take his doorman job and go UP the ladder. There is no ladder. How can he expand his circle of influence and see career growth?
Just like you, that doorman has what I like to call a 'mad scientist' in his head. We all have it. A mad scientist in our head in charge of SOME aspect of our lives. He's very good at coming up with graphs, tables, logical formulae. But he's C-R-A-Z-Y ! You should not listen to a word he says. He's not gonna build a time machine, crack cold fusion or discover the elixir to eternal life. And he's NOT going to help you lose weight/get a raise/meet new friends. He's not. He's crazy. He hasn't been out of the house in YEARS. You shouldn't listen to a damn thing he says.
So combining these two ideas we have a model for HUGE success:
1.Successful people tend to be highly visible. This is a library for success. Pick anyone on earth, find their biographies. You can model them by copying their ACTIONS. Don't bother trying to think like them yet, you're not there yet.
2.Block out the logical part of your brain that has been trying to solve this problem for 10 years. Haven't you given the mad scientist enough time to prove himself/herself?? The mad scientist is crazy, and should be ignored. It'll be tough at first, but over time, you won't hear him/her.
Lastly, to vanquish any further doubts (ahem, mad scientist?)remember that NONE of the important things are UNSOLVABLE. The real challenge in your life is THIS. Whatever it is, you're probably confronted with it on a daily basis. You've probably thought it's 'not fair' that you've got this one thing that no one else has to deal with.
Be thankful that you have a challenge, your movie has a conflict. You should be ecstatic! But when you solve this problem, you will run into another problem, and after that there will be another problem.
THIS IS A GOOD THING!
The point is not to have 'zero problems' but to have better problems (credit Tony Robbins)...
Imagine the day when you're getting home from work, your loving family is at a restaurant and they call you to tell where they are. As you're talking on the phone in the car, you're a little distracted and hit the car in front of you. Nothing serious, but you are going to have to pay it out. These are the moments when you're going to be angry IN THE MOMENT and think to yourself "Why me!? Why does this stuff happen to me?"
In moments like this, the mind blocks out the past, the future and childishly and selfishly focuses on the moment. You're on the way to share a dinner with your family that loves you. That's a pretty nice problem to have. The hundred bucks you're paying out for the car would NOT have made you happier, so you really have nothing to be mad about. Allow yourself to be happy.
You will never be free of problems as you grow more and more, but THATS A GOOD THING. Or else you would have a boring movie.
Long post. Phew.